Last Night at the Bar

So, I was talking with my mom about something that happened to me in a bar last night. A man who I didn't know followed me into the bathroom, demanded to know who I was with (a male friend) and tried to kiss me. I was cornered and could not get to the door. I froze up and the only thing I could think to do was to back away slowly and put as much distance between us as possible (hard to do in a bathroom that tiny though). Luckily, nothing worse happened and he left the bathroom. It was terrifying though.

I even made a facebook status update today saying "ATTENTION MEN: Following a woman into the bathroom at a bar (or anywhere else really) to tell her she's hot, or to try to kiss her when you've never spoken before is NOT FUCKING OKAY. It is terrifying and completely inappropriate and makes the woman feel ridiculously unsafe."

A bunch of women commented that they agreed, it was scary and it made them feel sick thinking about it. A male friend said to me
"Sorry that happened. It would have ruined my night."
and yet another male friend said
"You should have just kicked him in the balls"
and that got me angry. I am angry because they have no idea what it feels like to be cornered in a bathroom. They both mean well and I understand why they don't know how I feel (because they are men), but I'm still upset.

They have no idea how it feels to be completely at the mercy of a strange man and how utterly helpless you feel. Add to that the fact that I had been drinking, so my judgement was cloudy. I didn't think to "just kick him in the balls". It didn't just ruin my night. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom in a bar alone now. I'm afraid of making eye contact with a man I don't know and him taking that as a cue to follow me into the bathroom. This affected my life. I have to change my behavior because of one strange man.

And now I have to spend $15 on pepper spray, so I'm peeved about that, too.

I just want people to realize the fear women face on a daily basis when it comes to situations like this. We have to constantly be aware that something like this could happen to any one of us.

The Beginning

This all started because of how much I love my new red pants. I've worn them twice in the last week when I've gone out to bars, and people LOVE these pants. Random people will come up and tell me how awesome my pants are.


So my mom and I thought of an idea. I'm going to wear a pair of red pants every day for an entire year to promote more awareness about rape and women's issues. I was raped more than a year ago and it is something that stays with me every single day of my life. I want people to realize that. The red pants will symbolize having something stay with you and how glaringly THERE it is.

Here is the outfit I wore last night (sorry the picture is not great quality, I took it on photobooth and it was before the Red Pants Project idea came to be)


The bright red pants are from Target, the shirt is from the Miley Cyrus collection at Walmart from ages ago, and the pleather jacket is from Forever 21.